Saturday 18 February 2012

Reflections: Tue 7 Feb (eve)

28 hours and we're here - the tiredness and disorientation.  The recovery from the reckless driving.

It's hard not knowing any of the language and feeling a bit trapped since we don't know where to go.

The crusade is tomorrow and I'm feeling inadequate - like a locust in the presence of giants.  Satan reminds me of my failure on Friday.

Help me to realise that I am a new creation, I am accepted and conversely there's nothing I can do that will make me good enough.

Father, Lizzie's been teary.  I just ask that You would give her peace.  Father that You would use her in a Lizzie way.  Father that You would help me to be a channel of Your grace, to be her encourager, her support.


There's nothing we can do except be willing to let You use us.  Thank You that You want us to be Your co-workers with You.  And in our weakness You are glorified.


I do also feel like I'm praying into the air - like I'm not conscious of Your presence.  But then I wonder do I really know You - I mean do I know You personally and intimately.


Have I spent time doing things for You, praying to You for things but not actually getting to know You?


I feel that there is so much more - are You calling me to intimacy?  And how would I do that anyway?


Maybe it isn't a doing but just being in Your presence.  I don't know how.  You're going to ahve to teach me and lay into the enemy that says I'm destined for a second class Christianity - that nothing will change - that I'll just revert to this state of doing...

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